Deseret News Column Focuses on Family Relationships

I'm sorry it's been soooo long since my last post!!  But hey, it's summer.  What can I say?

I came across a column in the Deseret News by Linda and Richard Eyre.  In their Aug. 20, 2012 column, they said, "Over the next several weeks, we are going to write a series on improving our relationships, particularly family relationships."  I'm really interested to see what they have to write over the next few weeks.  Part of their introductory article to this series, called "Relationships: always the top priority?", discusses how our view of the world and relationships leads us to focus on things other than relationships because we're not trained on how to achieve healthy relationships.  I look forward to reading more about their suggestions on how to improve relationships, and I'll continue to share some of their suggestions and my insights.

You can access recent articles by the Eyres at:   http://www.deseretnews.com/author/22836/Linda--Richard-Eyre.html

Divorce: A New Understanding

I'm so glad we talked about this in class this past week.  I feel like I never really understood before how divorced families work.  When you take different people and families and join them together, you're not just making a new family.  You're combining everyone's traditions, hopes, expectations, parenting styles, insecurities, and whatever else into one place.  There are a lot of things that take a lot of time to work through!!  However, having open, honest communication is helpful in working through many of these problems.  You can't make assumptions about the other person while looking through your lens because the other person is making decisions by looking through a completely different lens.  Only by communicating and working together to fulfill your roles and expectations can you look through the pair of glasses together.

Emotional Intimacy

Ok, I came across this link today, and it's absolutely amazing.  Dr. Athena Staik wrote the article, and she's a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Please follow this link and read the article:

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2012/07/12-warning-signs-that-its-emotional-infidelity-and-not-just-friendship/

It's so important for us to be emotionally close to our spouse and no one else!!  Knowing these warning signs will help people not get into dangerous situations and behaviors unintentionally.  Being informed is the first step to prevention.

Parenting

I loved discussing parenting in class last week.  I guess I never really thought about it, but parenting is more than just raising kids.  It's guiding them, helping them recognize their potential, and leading them (to a point) back to our Father in Heaven.  Essentially, it's helping them "survive and thrive" (Michael Popkin) in this world and society.  In order to do this, we need to be the best people we can possibly be.  Without good examples and role models, kids will only grow up with mixed messages and confused about their place in this crazy world.  With help from the Lord and from the many angels He places in our lives, we can do all things, even parenting.

Fatherhood

There's a great article I read that points out key ways fathers can be more involved in the home and in their children's lives:

Hartwell-Walker, M. (2008). Fathering in America: What’s a Dad Supposed to Do?. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 28, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fathering-in-america-whats-a-dad-supposed-to-do/

Fathers are so important in the home.  They have critical roles to preside, provide, and protect in the home, and knowing simple ways to make that happen helps us to get there.  Remember to support the men and father-figures in your life.  They do a lot for us that is taken for granted, and, even if you're not close, you should tell them thank you for the things they have done.  They need to have positive reinforcement and encouragement just like anyone else.  :) 

You Never Need to Stand Alone

"God never intended that His children should stand alone. Children have parents, and parents have the Church, with the scriptures, living prophets and Apostles, and the Holy Ghost, to help them understand proper principles and act upon those principles in fulfilling their parental responsibilities." - M. Russel Ballard, "Strength in Counsel", Oct. 1993.  


I often hear women say that they don't know how to raise kids or what they're doing.  They're concerned that they won't be able to lead their children in the correct paths and help them navigate in this crazy world.  Honestly, I've had similar concerns myself.  However, it's important to remember that you are never alone; the Lord has provided many resources for us to use to be successful parents and leaders.  I think it's especially important to be receptive to and follow the guidance of the Holy Ghost.  With the Lord leading you, you can never go wrong!!  Do your best and leave the rest up to Him.  Everything will work out one day.  

Temporal vs. Eternal

"We tend to think temporally.  We don't see the eternal ramifications of choices."  -Michael Williams.  In our discussion in class, we talked about the importance of viewing "family crises" with an eternal perspective.  We tend to get caught up in the moment, and whatever's going on is magnified to completely fill our view.  During these times, our choice of reaction and behaviors will completely alter our experiences, for better or for worse.  Remember to communicate with others in the family, whether they're involved or not.  Even if they don't seem to be involved, they are affected by your actions, and they need to know what's going on to be able to adjust to the situation appropriately.  From a spiritual perspective, pray together as a couple or as a family, and follow the Spirit.  Keeping an eternal perspective will allow you to work through the hard times and be better for them.