Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is not the main part of the marriage, but it can be a measure of how well you're doing in other parts of the relationship.  "If we focused only on the physiology of responses in marriage, we'd miss out on most of it." -Michael Williams.  Remember that, even though physical intimacy is an important and good expression of love, it's not the main focus of the relationship; don't be so consumed by the all physical things that the rest of your relationship suffers.  There's balance in everything in life, and having strong communication and a solid relationship in general will make physical intimacy better as well.

Beginning Marriage

Does it really matter how people begin marriage?  YES!!  How you start a marriage sets you on a path that you will continue to follow through your marriage (unless some huge event changes it).  The routines you begin will set the patterns for how you handle things in the future, so it's important to start out your marriage right.  This means that you must have a lot of communication, make decisions together, take time for each other, keep and eternal perspective, and continually build your relationship through experience and change.  I think the most important part of this is communication:  you must be willing and able to talk things through and discuss what works or doesn't work for each person in the relationship.  Starting out on a solid basis makes the marriage more stable throughout.  As Michael Williams said in class, "Wise couples anticipate and work with these (marriage problems) early on."  Follow his advice, and do all you can to start off your marriage right.

What you don't need...

"You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need can't satisfy you."  - Michael Williams, Marriage & Family Therapist.

I've thought a lot about this since Thursday when Brother Williams made this comment in class.  This applies to everything, including money, toys, clothes, vacations, drugs, pornography, candy/desserts, internet, video games, Facebook, etc.  The list goes on and on.  The things you don't need will never be enough to satisfy your cravings for them because they CANNOT satisfy you.  There may be some temporary pleasure involved, but it will never be lasting joy.

In the context of the family, this is one huge reason why people who marry for sexual purposes aren't satisfied; their marriages often don't last because they're built on something that can't satisfy them.  While physical intimacy in marriage is important, that can't be your main reason for marrying.  If so, you're going to really struggle to make your marriage last and be fulfilling.

"Gay" By Society

When people see a little boy cooking, playing with dolls, and dressing up, often the thought crosses their mind that the boy will be gay when he grows up.  Honestly, this very thought has crossed my mind before, sometimes multiple times.  This mentality and terminology has become an integrated, fundamental part of our society.  Is this good or bad?  I believe that this mentality will continue to perpetuate our problem with people identifying as gay and lesbian, and things will continue to go downhill.

What's so wrong with boys being artistic, domestic, and sensitive?  These traits are desirable and good, and limiting these qualities to girls is depriving boys of good, wholesome experiences.  These very qualities are often what I think of when I think of Christ; He is loving and kind to everyone, and He's sensitive to others' needs and desires.  I think boys who act this way should not be labeled as "gay", especially since "gay" is something we've invented and created in our world.

Social Class

Social Class:  Does it influence families and their capacity to meet the needs, purposes, and responsibilities? We discussed this question in some depth in class this week, and it really got  me thinking and evaluating my own ideas about families and social class.  I do believe that social class influences family.  To say it has no effect would be naive because society is always affecting family and family is always affecting society.  However, I don't think social class has as big of an influence on the CAPACITY of a family to be functional.  Families in any economic situation can meet the needs, purposes, and responsibilities of a family; it just might take extra effort for some.

Looking at families, I don't think social class has much to do with how well they function.  Families in any social class, from the dirt poor to the extreme rich, can be completely capable and functional in fulfilling their purposes, and families in those same categories can be extremely disfunctional and disjointed.  I believe the matter is more about the individual choices of the family and its members; personal decisions are the key factor in whether a family will be functional or not, regardless of social class.

Don't Delay

In class earlier this week, we talked about the reasons for and importance of having a family. One thing that really stuck out to me was a quote from President Spencer W. Kimball (see "John and Mary, Beginning Life Together", New Era, June 1975).  President Kimball talks about how young people should "not postpone [marriage and] parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles." 

Even though it's hard, it's critically important to put the family unit first in our lives, before anything else.  Family has a HUGE impact on society; everything about the family affects society, and everything about society affects the family.  So, we need to get out of the mindset of so many people in the world, and we need to start getting married and having families.  Delaying either of these is eventually destructive and doesn't help us fulfill our purpose for being here on the earth.   I know this is easier said then done, but we must change our perspective about the family to be in accordance with God's will for us.  Let us do all we can listen to a prophet of God and do what He needs us to do. 

Note to Classmates

If you're in my family relations class, please check and make sure you're on my blog list and that it connects to your site.  I think I got everyone, but it's quite probable that I missed someone or typed something wrong.  Just reply to this post with the correct info, and I'll fix it ASAP.  Thanks!! :)